Bully Prevention Resources for Military Families Published Aug. 19, 2013 By Yolanda Arrington Health.mil FALLS CHURCH, Va. -- Being the child of military parents has its rewards and its challenges. Military K-12 Partners estimates there are about 1.5 million children of military parents enrolled in U.S. schools. Many will have to move to new states, find new schools and make new friends at least twice during their formative years. These changes can be difficult for children to process, and some may find it difficult to make new friends as they move from place to place. Some may even face bullying from other children who see them as different. Marci Hertz, a health scientist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Division of Violence Prevention, says when children are perceived by other kids as different in any way, they can be bullied. "In general, kids who are more likely to be bullied are kids who have trouble with social skills and picking up on social cues," says Hertz. "Some research suggests children who are already depressed may be more likely to be bullied," Hertz adds. Matthew Gladden, a behavioral scientist, also with the CDC's Violence Prevention Division, says "a lot of people think bullying is physical, but they don't think about the verbal aggression and cyberbullying where rumors can be spread quickly and to a lot of people." Gladden says bullying is marked by three elements: aggression, repetition and a power imbalance. "The person who's being targeted feels like they can't stop this behavior toward them, and there's some sense of power or control, either by size, groups, or the number of kids," says Gladden. Hertz says if you are being bullied, find a trusted adult who can handle the situation in a confidential manner that will prevent retaliation. Hertz says the "zero tolerance" policies that many schools have adopted have shown to be ineffective because the perpetrators tend to be unsupervised during their suspensions, which could lead to more violent behavior off the school's grounds. Bystanders are also a critical part of preventing bullying. Hertz says when "other kids stick up for the person being victimized, some evidence has shown that's really effective." Bystanders can show the bully that "it's not the cool thing to bully in this school." A key part of stopping bullying is to document what's happening. Write down when the bullying occurred and what the responses and reactions were. This can help kids when they report the bullying to an authority. Parents also play an important role in preventing bullying. Hertz says "it's really important what parents are role modeling in the home. Don't convey that it's okay to be mean and that bullying is just a rite of passage." Children will imitate what they see so it's "important that parents talk to and communicate with their kids. Specifically ask your kids if they are being bullied." Also, be aware of your child's social circles. Know their friends, both the face-to-face ones and online acquaintances. Gladden reminds parents that addressing bullying is a "community and school effort. It's not only the responsibility of the victim." Gladden says parents should become familiar with the bullying policies and laws of their local communities. Military parents should be aware that these laws can vary greatly from state to state. Hertz points out recent stories of "bullycide," or suicides apparently caused by bullying, which he says is "not a reasonable or normal way to respond to bullying. Kids who are victims of bullying who do try to hurt themselves also have a lot of other things going on." Kids who are bullied should know they are not alone, but they must reach out and get help. The Department of Health and Human Services has launched a Stop Bullying website to connect bullying victims with help. There are also vast online resources for military children to meet other kids who are experiencing the same challenges in adjusting to their new lives. Military Kids Connect provides an online community where children can meet, share their feelings on discussion boards and play games.Military OneSource is a one-stop shop for resources, blogs and counseling options for military families. In our digital, fast-moving world, some children are being targeted right from their computer screens or their smartphones. Visit Military Youth on the Move for social media safety tips. Additional resources for children: ■Moving overseas ■Coping with change or loss ■Resources for social life and school ■Tips for handling a bully ■STRYVE to prevent youth violence View parts one andtwo of our bully-prevention series.